Talk:Courtship

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Comments about simplifying[change source]

My comments:

complex words and phrases: period, duration, varies, vast, variation, omitted, poll, duration, marriage partner, lack of courted relationships, a large percentage of

other:

  • engagements and marriages should be singular
  • "during a courtship" would be better with out the indefinite article
  • "approving" should be "approval"
  • "a poll... resulted in an average duration" The duration wasn't the result of the poll: reword that
  • "with people generations before" -- what does this mean?

--Auntof6 (talk) 03:16, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

I've changed period and duration to time. I changed omitted to left out. I also changed a large percentage of to many. Anything else? Angela Maureen (talk) 04:30, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

Comments:

  • Above, I've struck out the ones that are satisfactorily resolved.
  • One I missed before: the first sentence should say "a time", not "the time".
  • Engagement and marriage needed to be singular, which you fixed, but you need to remove the indefinite articles. In this sentence, those words are used to mean the idea of engagement and marriage, not a specific engagement or marriage.
  • Duration doesn't mean just time. Think about what that sentence is saying, and you'll come up with a better word to replace it with.
  • Try simplifying "There's a vast variation between couples" instead of leaving it out.
  • Try again to fix the sentence with "omitted". "Left out" doesn't sound right.

--Auntof6 (talk) 08:23, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

Can you please help me? I'm having hard times trying to come up with better words for duration, varies and poll. I replaced There's a vast variation between couples with couples tend to change over time. I also added the idea of before engagement and marriage. Angela Maureen (talk) 16:38, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

Comments:

  • Your replacement for the vast variation sentence changes the meaning to something that's not relevant to the article. You need to find simpler words for "vast variation".
  • On engagement and marriage: you need to remove the indefinite articles, not add "the idea of". The sentence doesn't work the way it is now. In fact, it would read better if you removed the indefinite articles from "courtship" as well, so that you're talking about the concept instead of one instance of it.
  • Changing "marriage partner" to "partner" also changes the meaning. When they talk about "marriage partner", what are they talking about?
  • "Duration" refers to how long something lasts. "Varies" refers to something that is different in different situations. A poll is when people are asked for information or opinion. Does that help you figure out how to simplify these?

--Auntof6 (talk) 23:54, 9 July 2017 (UTC)

I've gotten rid of the indefinite articles. I changed vast variation to great difference. I put back marriage in marriage partner. I'm gonna need some help in simplifying certain terms and words. Could you help me? Angela Maureen (talk) 00:22, 10 July 2017 (UTC)
I changed varies to differs in one sentence. Is there anything else? Angela Maureen (talk) 20:49, 10 July 2017 (UTC)