Talk:Dan Kelly

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Untitled[change source]

This page is still being worked on, and is incomplete at this stage.Peterdownunder (talk) 19:06, 4 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Quick scan[change source]

This can scarcely be called a GA review, it's so short and inadequate. :p However, I do have a few comments to make:

  • The prose flows generally well and is neutral without being overly dry and boring - it's really admirably written. :) It's also simply and clearly written. I think it's ready or nearly so to be a GA except a few very minor issues, some of which I have fixed.
  • Ref 13 comes up as "not found", and so does this link in the "Other websites" section.
 Done Updated links for both items ---Peterdownunder (talk) 13:08, 26 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...New South Wales to look for seasonal farm work <- It would be nice if seasonal could be linked (maybe to "season").
 Done
  • The bush seems to have been linked twice (first time in "early life", second time in the beginning of "kelly gang"). It should only be linked once in its first usage.
 Doneproblem fixed

That's about it. :) I look forward to this article becoming a GA soon. Very sincerely, —Clementina talk 11:42, 26 September 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finally got down to the Victoria Police Museum in Melbourne and got a good photo of Dan's helmet. This is what the articel was missing Peterdownunder (talk) 10:09, 22 October 2010 (UTC)[reply]

VGA review[change source]

This is extremely well written, and certainly better than the corresponding article on English. I made a few small changes, mostly with sentence construction, spelling, and punctuation. Other than that, not much came up during my review that I feel needs correction or clarification. This is what I do have:

  • The empty space under the "Early life" section heading should be eliminated somehow, perhaps through tweaking image placement.
 Done - I was not seeing the space, but it was probably caused by the picture and the info box being close together. I have moved house photo to the left to see if this makes it work better.--Peterdownunder (talk) 23:02, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Dan took part with his brother in the killing of three policemen" - could this be better written as "Dan and his brother killed there policemen"?
 Done --Peterdownunder (talk) 23:02, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • In Australian English, is "home made" (in the section "Murder")

two words or one? It is normally one in American English, but as this article is written in Australian English, for all I know, it may be different there.

 Done - my mistake, it is one word. --Peterdownunder (talk) 23:02, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • The sentence "To keep them happy, there was dancing in which both Ned and Dan took part" seems constructed a little awkwardly; is there a better way to word it? Kansan (talk) 18:39, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - How about "Ned organized music and Dan joined in dancing to keep the people in the hotel entertained" - --Peterdownunder (talk) 23:02, 22 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Vocabulary looks simple[change source]

I just did a quick vocabulary analysis and the vocabulary is quite simple. The only infrequent word that really stood out was "verandah"; quite common in Australia, but less so in other areas. I just went ahead and linked it, then created the page from EnWP. Looks like a great article. Gotanda (talk) 02:55, 23 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Early life[change source]

I'll put this comment here, because it doesn't change my view that this is a VGA.

The bit about the simple wooden house in Kelly Street belongs with Red moving to Beveridge... Actually, I'll do it, it's easier to do than say. Please revert it if it doesn't convince.

Also, 'several' means about three, not seven.

Macdonald-ross (talk) 06:59, 29 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

lacks neutral point of view[change source]

I think it focuses on arguments against Ned Kelly and his brother such as them being violent men who intimidated people but not the arguments for them like being targeted by the police for years and their welfare programmes for the poor as well as examples of the them being considerate.