Talk:Hal Holbrook

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Article review[change source]

User:TDKR Chicago 101 has asked me to review this article. I'm putting my comments here. Anyone is welcome to respond.

Most of the article is pretty simple. Here are some specific places that I would simplify more.

Article text: "His father was Harold Rowe Holbrook, Sr. and his mother was Aileen Davenport."

You could just say, "His parents were Harold Rowe Holbrook, Sr. and Aileen Davenport."

Article text: "After this, he appeared in two more blockbuster movies: Magnum Force in 1973 and All the President's Men in 1976."

I wouldn't use the word "blockbuster". I would just delete the phrase "two more blockbuster movies" and make this two separate sentences.

Article text: "More recently, he appeared in Water for Elephants in 2011, and as Francis Preston Blair in Steven Spielberg's movie Lincoln in 2012."

I would make this two separate sentences. I would also leave out "more recently". Five or ten years from now, 2011 and 2012 won't be so recent. People will be able to tell whether they were recent because the years are given.

Article text: "Holbrook has stated that is political party is an Independent because he votes for both Democrats and Republicans."

There is no independent political party. Being a political independent means that you don't belong to any party. It would be better to say, "Holbrook has stated that he is a political independent..." Also, please include the reference for this in the text. I see that you have it in the infobox, but it should be in the text, too.

Those are all the specific comments I have right now. Remember that part of writing simple English is to keep sentences short. Let me know what you think of these comments. --Auntof6 (talk) 02:42, 1 April 2013 (UTC)