Talk:Meningococcal disease

This article contains a translation of Meningococcal disease from en.wikipedia.

is there anything complex in this page[change source]

Does this article carry anything complex, including terms or words? Angela Maureen (talk) 23:32, 4 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yes. Here are some things I see:

Complex words: mortality rate, vaccine-preventable, widespread, contagious, transmitted.
Should be linked: infections
You took out the name of the specific bacterium. It should be mentioned. Otherwise, it sounds like any bacterium could be the cause, which isn't true.
Where it gives the number of cases, you left out "per year", which changes the meaning of the sentence. Put that back. Also take out "exist", because that implies a specific point in time, which is not what the figure is.

Those last two things are concerning. The seem to show that you might not understand the original article completely. When you simplify an enwiki article, you must first understand it well enough to know what can be removed without changing the meaning. --Auntof6 (talk) 18:05, 5 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I removed widespread, exist. I also simplified mortality rate and transmitted. Is there anything else? Angela Maureen (talk) 20:10, 5 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Good work! The only one left is "contagious". Thete are a couple of other things:

It would be good to also change "fatality rate" to "death rate".
Looking at the enwiki article, I see that meningococcal disease is defined as "infections caused by the bacterium Neisseria meningitidis", not "a health condition in which there are infections caused by the bacterium". The latter says that there is more involved than just the infection, whereas the former says it's just the infection.

By the way, when replying on any talk page, please indent one level more than the text you're replying to. Thanks. --Auntof6 (talk) 21:50, 5 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

┌─────────────────────────────────┘
I changed fatality rate to death rate. Also, simplified the page and took out contagious. Anything more? Angela Maureen (talk) 02:53, 6 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's good now. I changed the category: "Health problems" is a very general category, and most things can be categorized more specifically than that. Are you ready for the article to be moved to mainspace now? --Auntof6 (talk) 18:43, 6 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah. The article can be moved to mainspace. Angela Maureen (talk) 19:34, 6 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]