Talk:Oklahoma

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Readability[change source]

Further to my comments at Wikipedia:Proposed very good articles‎ , I thought I would track the improvements in readability of this article.

Readability measures over time
Measure Version of 00:17 8 Sep 2008 Version of 4:21 10 Sep 2008
Word count 412 933
Number of paragraphs 13 16
Number of sentences 17 50
Sentences per paragraph 4.2 12.5
Words per sentence 22.0 18.3
Characters per word 5 4.6
Passive sentences ~ 30%
Flesch reading ease 13.6 46.1
Flesch-Kinkaid grade level 16.8 11.2
Spelling or grammar errors yes none apparent
Comments spelling and grammar errors have been eliminated
sentences are a bit shorter
calculated reading ease has improved

Flesch Reading Ease score = Rates text on a 100-point scale; the higher the score, the easier it is to understand the document. For most standard documents, aim for a score of approximately 60 to 70. Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level score = Rates text on a U.S. school grade level. For example, a score of 8.0 means that an eighth grader can understand the document. For most documents, aim for a score of approximately 7.0 to 8.0. Both scores look at average sentence length (the number of words divided by the number of sentences) and the average number of syllables per word (the number of syllables divided by the number of words).

I am well aware that statistics are merely indicators and the proof is whether the article is readable - long words are not always difficult for example. However, improvements in the indicators is probably a useful target, especially given the intended readership of articles on this wikipedia.

The measurement of the stats is a bit tricky - I copy and paste into Microsoft Word and run it through the spelloing and grammar checker. Not sure if I trust it absolutely - it is only indicative. --Matilda (talk) 04:53, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Readability part 2[change source]

I did some copyediting. Changes (per the prose count on toolserver readability checker - similar to the above) are given below:

  Pre c/e post c/e
Words 1684 1736
Sentences 98 143
Letters 7347 7452
Syllables 2413 2464
Polysyllabic words
3+ syllables
117 114
Syllables per word 1.63 1.61
Words per sentence 17.18 12.14
Flesch Reading Ease 51.6 57.9
readablility Test grade/age
Pre Post
Automated Readability Index (ARI) 7.71/13 4.86/10
Flesch-Kincaid 10.34/15 8.20/13
Coleman-Liau 9.88/15 9.46/14
Gunning Fog 9.65/14 7.48/12
SMOG 9.37/14 8.23/13
Average age 14.2 years 12.4 years

The tests are a bit high due to the polysyllabic word counts, but with the subject being polysyllabic there is little that can be done about that. The average drop in age of reader is almost two years with one test showing almost three.

This did create a few new redlinks though and fact templates though. The facts should be fairly easy (2006 census estimate, conspiracy theory on the bombing). The five new redlinks are pretty obvious and should not present a major issue to take care of them.

All measurements were shifted over to convert templates. There was a discreptancy in area between the infobox and the geography section. I set the number in geography to match the data in the infobox and the lead-in. There is a slight difference there between 69,960 total (infobox) with 1.8% water (68,701 land) and 68,667 land (lead-in) so I took the one most likely to be rounded (%water) to be the problem and used the other numbers to get the data (resulting in a %water of 1.848 instead of 1.8 - within reason for rounding to the nearest 1/10th).

Also the error with reference 15 was fixed (extra carriage return in the title made it screwy). -- Creol(talk) 19:12, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Article demotion[change source]

  • Reference 25 (Answers.com) is not a reliable reference. Should be replaced.
 Fixed Ref 24 and 25 are now 24 through 28.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:02, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Oklahoma is one of the most politically conservative states, but voter registration is largest for the Democratic Party Voter registration should have an article here, not be linked to enWP.
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:37, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The governor and US Senators need references
 Fixed Also updated governor.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 06:42, 21 January 2011 (UTC)
  • I wouldn't call infoplease.com a reliable reference, ref 28 31. Says it's referenced to US Census Bureau, but I'd prefer a direct link to the Census Bureau instead.
 Fixed Also added a citation for the highest and lowest points.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 07:17, 19 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The cultural heritage of Oklahoma is affected by a population descending from German, Irish, British and Native American people. Not exactly simple English.
 Fixed Reworded a couple of sentences.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 20:50, 21 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The time-zones need a reference
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 06:42, 21 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The geography section tells me almost nothing that I don't already know.
Added some information about the Panhandle. --The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:40, 22 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Oklahoma has only been a state for a little over a century, but its history is much longer Sounds like POV to me.
I don't see how this statement is POV. Kansan (talk) 02:18, 17 January 2011 (UTC)
Sorry, not POV, but a peacock term. Albacore (talk · changes) 21:37, 7 February 2011 (UTC)
  • Reference four, English is the default language, doesn't need to be stated.
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:25, 17 January 2011 (UTC)
  • It snows in Oklahoma Hmmm, spare Hawaii, it snows in every US state. What makes OK different?
I believe the this shows the contrast in the state. Some places reach over 100 degrees, some places it snows.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 03:20, 23 January 2011 (UTC)
  • It wouldn't hurt the Weather section to be expanded a paragraph or two.
I don't know what else to add without getting technical and complex.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 03:20, 23 January 2011 (UTC)
  • File:OKC Skyline.jpg and File:Tulsa Skyline.jpg malfit the text. One or the other should be removed
 Fixed Deleted Tulsa.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:25, 17 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Many people think other people were involved. [24] Space should be removed between reference and text.
 Fixed Space removed, changed Many to Some, added citations.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:02, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The length, width, and % water could do with references
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:40, 22 January 2011 (UTC)
  • Oklahoma is part of the Bible Belt. Many people believe in evangelical Christianity. Currently, the two sound unrelated. The sentence should be rewritten to relate the two.
 Fixed Rearranged several sentences and paragraphs.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 03:20, 23 January 2011 (UTC)
  • This was the worst terrorism attack in the United States before the World Trade Center attacks on September 11, 2001. Defiantly needs a reference.
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:02, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
  • What's the point of the Monthly temperatures for Oklahoma's largest cities table?
I feel it gives reader a good idea of how warm or cold the state is.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 20:50, 21 January 2011 (UTC)
  • How is the seventh paragraph in the History section relevant to OK?
 Fixed Changed to say the song came from the play.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:40, 22 January 2011 (UTC)
  • The dates in references 1, 26, 44, 45, 46 29, 47, 48, 49 should be consistent with the dates in the rest of the references
 Fixed--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:25, 17 January 2011 (UTC)

Most of these issues are minor, but they defiantly should be fixed. Thanks, Albacore (talk · changes) 19:13, 15 January 2011 (UTC)

Made some changes. Updated the ref numbers to reflect the added citations.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:02, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
Fixed Voter registration, updated citation--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:37, 16 January 2011 (UTC)
Cleaned up citation access dates. Removed Tulsa image in Cities and towns.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 04:25, 17 January 2011 (UTC)
All issues fixed or addressed with comments.--The Three Headed Knight (talk) 03:20, 23 January 2011 (UTC)

New[change source]

During the American Civil War (1861–1865), several Indian tribes sided with the Confederacy. How many? an estimate would be nice

This caused much of the Indian Territory to be under Confederate control... How much?

He dreamed of an all-Indian state with power held by the United States Superintendent of Indian Affairs. should be rewritten

from above Oklahoma has only been a state for a little over a century, but its history is much longer is a peacock term. At least something is wrong with it, if it isn't a peacock term.

The oil pools found in the area caused the population of towns to grow very quickly. how quickly? stats, not weasel words

The oil was a large part of the state's early economy how large/how much money did it generate?

Not all the tribes sided with the Confederacy. Some tribes had taken control of several forts. how many forts, whose forts did they take?

A year later, the western part of the territory was turned into Oklahoma territory. kind of vague, where's the west?

Article is full of weasel words and phrases like the ones above. Should be fixed. Albacore (talk · changes) 21:50, 24 February 2011 (UTC)