Talk:Selena (movie)
Peer review[change source]
Positives[change source]
- Well written.
- Suffix problem has dropped off the face of the Earth
- Simply written.
- Short sentences.
Negatives[change source]
- Not as many references as it could have. This isn't a negative as such, just a pointer for improvement.
Conclusion[change source]
Another well written article. The only problem this time is the references, and that's just a pointer, not a problem... So I suppose this article is problem-free. <br\>Good work. Orashmatash (t • c) 18:38, 29 September 2011 (UTC)
- I'll add more :) Thanks! Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 18:41, 29 September 2011 (UTC)
Review from Goodvac[change source]
- Lead
- What makes http://www.the-numbers.com/movies/1997/SELEN.php reliable?
- Would this make it reliable? Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:37, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
- No, but I think the "About" page alleviates my concerns. Goodvac (talk) 23:59, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
- "At first, Quintanilla, did not want his character and his problems to be in the movie. Nava helped him understand that those were 'life events'." Undue coverage of this in lead. Recommend removal.
- Production and marketing
- "Selena LIVE: The Last Concert, "All Access: Behind the Scenes", movie featurette. Retrieved: 28 September 2011" Any url for this reference?
- It's a documentary found on the DVD. Is it still okay to use? Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:37, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
- Are ref 3 and ref 4 the same?
- Yes, I fixed them. Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:37, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
- "The movie's trailer was released worldwide in January 1997" Is there a specific date it was released?
- According to Billboard magazine the trailer was released in December 1996. I will change it since this is a more reliable source. Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:37, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
- "During the wrap party, Lopez's boyfriend Ojani Noa asked Lopez to marry him; they married a few months later. Selena's parents and siblings were invited to the wedding." Not sure that this is directly relevant.
- "The soundtrack peaked at number seven on the US Billboard 200 chart and number 36 on the Canadian albums chart." Name the Canadian albums chart.
- Release
- "Afterwards, many fans changed their views on Lopez" Why?
- "Selena was in theaters for only 101 days, and became Lopez's 'breakthrough role'." Problematic, but I haven't found a way to fix it yet.
- I've reworded the sentence now.
- What makes http://www.dvdactive.com/news/releases/selena.html reliable?
- Replaced it with a {{subscription}} article. Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 23:37, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
Will continue later. Goodvac (talk) 22:49, 20 January 2012 (UTC)
- Plot
- Needs to be condensed.
And that's all! Goodvac (talk) 23:59, 23 January 2012 (UTC)
Comments[change source]
As this is up for VGA, the standards are high and the critiques a bit more evil..
Readability wise, the article places very well in the mid-high 7's. Structure and wording work within tolerance there. Unfortunately, looking at the intro, one big point screams out. There are no references. Not one reference in the entire intro and a couple of the points are arguable.
- References are not needed since sources are in the article body. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 01:17, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
| “ | Lopez was given $1 million for her role as Selena, making her the highest-paid Hispanic woman ever. | ” |
This is my biggest problem. Mainly because it is wrong. The largest amount paid to a Hispanic actress for a single movie (to date) is $9M. Now it is true that it happens to be Lopez who earned it, but the $1M she made here is not the highest ever so this movie did not make her highest pain (The Wedding Planner made her the highest paid.) Her paycheck for this movie may have been the highest at the time, but it was greatly surpassed since then (800% increase in just 4 years - 1997 to 2001).
- I added "at the time". Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 01:17, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
As much as the structure is good by the numbers, it does get a big confusing at at times.
| “ | Jennifer Lopez starred as Selena, and many music critics believe this movie made her famous. | ” |
Who is "her"? Lopez or Selena? (and as per no ref's who are the critics?)
- Each paragraph should be cohesively about a subject yet the second paragraph in the intro has one sentence about the star and the rest about the soundtrack - two totally different subjects.
- There are multiple cases of non-simple terms not being linked. These include (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TOO - people only fix the ones I list don't go through the article looking for others...) movie, singer, produced, employee, certified, Texas (linked the cities but not the state), nominated, critic, tribute. perform (performance), Mexican, Spanish (Spanish language), stage, etc..
There are a lot of cases where the article means to say one thing, but the wording isn't exactly what was meant.
- " booed off stage by their own kind for not knowing any Mexican music" their own kind? Americans of Mexican decent who don't know Mexican music? - that would be their kind. And the phase "their own kind" is a bit of a colloquialism to start with.
- "the crowd booed Selena off stage which made her feel bad about herself and had wanted to quit music" bad wording on that last part.
- "While performing she takes off her jacket and exposed her bra to the crowd. This made Abraham upset and told her that she will never do it again." - Her actions on stage did 2 things: 1. made Abraham upset. 2. told her that she will never do it again. - the actions told her this?? or more likely, did Abraham tell her this?
- "However, A.B. tries to tell Abraham that he will change his style and look. " A.B.'s style or Chris's? "his" is ambiguous here.
- "Selena asks Chris to eat with her at a pizzeria. After this, Selena's song "Como La Flor" reaches number one on Billboard which makes the group come together and celebrate." After being asked to eat together, the song hit #1? Eating made it so?
- "pushing people inside of the stage" - wouldn't the people be pushed onto the stage instead of inside it?
- "Selena went by her father's house the next day to give him time to "cool off"." - She went there to give him time to cool off?
- "Selena asks her mother to scratch her scale and that she and Chris are thinking of having children and starting a family."
- I don't even know where to begin trying to understand what "scratch her scale" means.
- she asks her mother that they are thinking of having kids and starting a family? Asks her that they are?
- Throughout the plot section, there is a lot of information without context:
- "Suzette (Jackie Guerra) then tells them that a rock guitarist is in their kitchen."
- "Abraham then tells A.B. (Jacob Vargas) that he does not like Chris"
Who are Suzette and A.B.? These are just random names thrown out that mean nothing. Characters with no context in this telling of the plot.
- Her brother and sister which actually is pointed out in the second para of the plot. Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 01:17, 28 May 2012 (UTC)
Lots of tense shifting in the plot section. for example
- "her father told her that if she did that he will disband the group." questionable tense shift - If she "did" something, he will "do" something. As the plot is mostly told in present tence, it should be if she "does" that, he will "do" this.
Sometimes things are said to be happening now and the next sentence, other things happened in the past. Consistency of tense is important (baring flashbacks in the story which would always be past tense).
Character lists - The "characters and their roles in Selena are as follows" - The characters are the roles.. This is a list of the actors and their roles.
All these are examples. This is not a complete list of problems just examples of certain problems. --Creol(talk) 07:33, 13 April 2012 (UTC)
Fixed Best, Jonayo! Selena 4 ever 01:17, 28 May 2012 (UTC)