|This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Victoria line article.|
|A fact from Victoria line appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know? column on 21 July 2009.|
PVGA comments[change source]
- some refs needs to be fixed and online refs with access date. And th format should be sentence.ref not sentence._ref
- It is a deep-level - what's deep-level? should be explained.
- Construction work - probably works?
- use — instead of –
- dates in the prose should be unlinked
- other suggestions were "Walvic line" (Walthamstow - Victoria) and "Viking line" (Victoria - King's Cross) - needs ref
- The Victoria line was designed to relieve build ups on other lines, in particular the Piccadilly line, as well as to maximise possible interchanges. - This sentence is a bit complex
- surface - easy?
- tiled in a non-descript cool blue/grey colour fashionable at the time. POV(!) without ref
- dates are in different section in different ways written (the AE-way vs. the BE-way)
- History section has only one ref - not enough
- Opening section has no ref - too less
- The future section has only one ref - not enough
- The 1967 stock will be replaced bit by bit over the next few years as part of Transport for London's 5-year £10 billion redevelopment project. - needs ref
- hasn't - no short cuts
- A whole section for a map??? An a web link in this section. An absolutly no-go.
- Gallery section is too big
- Do we even need the gallery section? Exert 16:45, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
- A picture paints a thousand words. These photographs on the platforms are one of the most significant parts across the entire Underground system, and it would be impossible to describe them in words. Unless we add them into the table above? Goblin 16:48, 4 July 2009 (UTC) I ♥ Kennedy!
- Do we even need the gallery section? Exert 16:45, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
- Link to sisterproject should be in the other websites section
- A section with only one link (word) - no-go
- NO cats?!
- redlinks needs to be filled in.
- I only had a short look:
- per annum: link (to wiktionary?) or replace with an English term.
Barras Pt. 2[change source]
- On the Tube map it is a light blue colour. - not sure, but ptobably On the Tube map it is a light blue coloured?
- hump-backed - isn't really simple.
- There was also a proposal for an extension from Victoria to Fulham Broadway station on the District Line later but this was not included in the Bill. - before the but a comma?
- Construction work began in 1962 on the Walthamstow–Victoria section. - I guess, that "The construction work began in 1962 on the Walthamstow–Victoria section." would work too. Sounds better to me.
- The using of commas seems to me a bit odd like "on August 4 1967 to build"... (no comma?)
- rearranged - perhabs with en-dash.
- In some cases this was achieved by placing the Victoria line platforms on either side of the existing station, while in others the Victoria line uses one of the older platforms and the existing line was diverted into a new platform. - absolutely too long.
- northbound - not really simple.
- (with the Northern line) - why is Nothern line not linked?
- the same for (with the Piccadilly line).
- narrower - simple?
- fitted - simple?
- In recent years, this has been remedied at Brixton (2004) and Vauxhall (2006) where an additional escalator has been installed in place of the fixed stairway. - should be with ref. and what is "recent years" in 10 years? not encyclopaedic.
- congestion - simple?
- stop to Herne Hill. Herne Hill station - poor wording. the second name should be changed to "it".
- However this would be expensive - there is a comma missing, I guess.
- overcrowding - simple?
Fr33kman's Review[change source]
- Words and terms to be linked, inline explained or simplified
motif(s), ceremony, busiest, underground (is "underground" simple, "under the ground" is, but ...?), energy, metres, concept, proposed, proposal, extension, integrated, Minister of Transport, legend, Preparatory, non-descript, recesses, wikt:distinguish, peak period, articulated, wikt:overhauls, redevelopment, signalling, wikt:upgrade, budget, infrastructure, congestion, remedied, wikt:unserviceable, wikt:unsightly, wikt:shortcomings, campaigned, wikt:relieve, alternative, reversing loop, eliminating, justified, cost-benefit, wikt:overcrowding, duelling venue, Abstract, decorated & depot.
- Words to change
- whilst > while, Private Bill > Private bill
- Things to consider
- Legend has it ... seems non-encyclopedic.
- These humps allow trains to store gravitational potential energy as they slow down whilst going up the hill into the station, and release it when they leave a station and go down the hill. needs to be explained a bit better. It implies that some technological gizmo is storing the energy and releasing it rather than it being a design feature that simply uses inertia to go up the hill and gravity to increase the speed going down the hill.
- Legend has it that a person in the planning department said that "Victoria line" sounded "just right" at which point it was chosen as the working title of the new line. this needs a citation really,
TRM's PVGA stuff[change source]
Okay, on top of the complex words Fr33kman's pointed out (so I won't point any more for the time being), some additional comments.
- " London Underground system" not sure "system" is required, if it is, it needs linking.
- It's debatable really. I'll keep it in for clarity, and have linked it. Goblin 13:02, 21 July 2009 (UTC) I ♥ GoblinBots!
- "deep-level line" not clear what "line" means in this context - perhaps you need to accentuate the idea it's a railway/metro/underground train line?
- Don't think you need the Zones in the lead, potentially confusing - these Zones are only for the Underground, not for London as a whole. Maybe expand on them later?
- "where the whole line is run underground" - "which is completely underground"?
- "hill into the station, and release " split at the comma. "They then release ...."
- "platform built for the Victoria Line from new is " "new platform built for the Victoria line is..."
- Move that platform sentence up to behind the hump stuff so the passenger numbers comes aftewards, more logical.
- "Walthamstow — Victoria " I think this would be better as "Walthamstow–Victoria", i.e. an unspaced en-dash, per en.wiki's en:WP:DASH.
- Image caption for airshaft is complex, needs simplification and linking where required.
- "build ups " hyphenate.
- Be consistent on what "Victoria" links to, and don't overlink it.
- You'll need some more articles on more stations, such as Walthamstow (Hoe Street).
- I'd be confused by "British Railways" (is that the same as British Rail? it needs a link in either case), "National Rail" and "Underground" being used together. I think perhaps some explanations as to what is what?
- Per others, History section needs citations.
- Keep date formats consistent, and no need for the actual day of the week.
- You can make "5d (five old pence = 2.08p)" a lot more elegant, and link it. We probably should have a LSD (pounds/shilling/pence) article here, and also sterling pence.
- Fixed Goblin 13:13, 22 July 2009 (UTC) I ♥ GoblinBots!
- Opening section needs to consider merging paras, right now it's just four disjointed paras.
- You need to explain what "peak periods" are.
- Refs 8 and 9 should be the other side of the punctuation.
- "Overhauls" why in caps?
- "It'll " It will - avoid contractions.
- "under-the-ground"? stick with underground and link it to an appropriate simple wiktionary article.
- Deep Level in infobox should be Deep level.
- "as they enter them and" perhaps just "as they arrive"?
- Is "Working Party" really simple?
- "main purpose" - simple?
- "necessary for construction was" - "needed to build it"?
- "bill" or "Bill"?
- Link construction.
- "visited tunnel workings" not 100% convinced that "workings" is clear.
- approval isn't simple.
- For VGA, significant terms need linking so I'd expect to link Brixton Extension and Bessborough Gardens.
- Brixton Extension should already be mentioned in the article... if not i'll add in a section, it's certainly not significant enough for it's own article as it relates to this article. I'll look into it. Bessborough Gardens probably should be linked though... Goblin 17:54, 14 August 2009 (UTC) I ♥ Chenzw!
- "Preparatory work had already been carrying on at a site on Bessborough Gardens near to Vauxhall Bridge Road since May 1967 and on June 28 1968, Richard Marsh, then Minister of Transport approved the proposal to build a station at Pimlico." is a long sentence for simple English.
- "was designed to try and get rid of" -> "to try to get rid of".
- Is "terminate" linked?
- "although they are in fact, " -"in fact" is redundant here.
- " (with the Piccadilly line). " remove the space before the citation.
- "tiled" needs linking or explanation.
- Opening section has no references at all.
- "The idea was dropped because of difficulties in transferring the stock to Acton Works for heavy overhauls." not exactly simple..
- 1967 stock is overlinked.
- The Future section could use a copyedit to simplify it and more references in general.
- The image of 2009 stock is great but it needs captions/explanation.
- This may be a big ask, but the map of the Victoria line has a lot of images in it, like a Circle Line roundel. It would be BRILLIANT if this linked to the Circle line article, rather than the roundel image page.
- Motif - why all in italics?
- Typo - Victorial lines...
- Date formats in the references should be the same format, so accessdates and dates should be either both ISO or both human-readable...