Talk:Wisconsin

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Susggestions for GA[change source]

The lead needs expanding and should contain a brief summary of all the important points made in the rest of the article.
In Origins, "explorers" needs linking; "warped" doesn't work well, perhaps change it to "Over time other explorers from France changed it slowly to become Ouisconsin" or something like that; I'd outline which government made the final change (state, local, federal).
In Geography consider changing "X can be found ..." to "X is to the east/south ..." as I think it sounds better and is more understandable; consider changing "Wisconsin can be divided up into five main areas of geography" to "Wisconsin is made up of five mains areas of geography"; define "hardwood"; the word "found" is used a lot, I'd bin it and just say stuff like "The highest point in Wisconsin, Timms Hill, is in the Northern Highland area."; "bluffs" needs defining; remove "written down" and just use and link "recorded"
In Cities and towns define "urban"; "a string of cities and towns" is confusing; consider chaning statements like "With over 11,000,000 people living in Milwaukee, that makes Milwaukee the 22nd-largest city in the country." to "Milwaukee has over 11,000,000 people living there which makes it the 22nd largest city in the US."; The statement "With a population of just over 225,000 people, it is a city that grows very fast" could be taken to mean that 225,000 people grow vegetables very fast, I'd consider changing it to something like "With a population of just over 225,000 people, it is a city that is expanding quickly."; "bunch" is confusing in the context;
Redlinks obviously need fixing (most of them) and this also means those in the infobox
A picture of Milwaukee and/or the Wisconsin River would be nice, but not important.
You should consider adding a section on what Wisconsin produces; notable businesses and notable people; but it's not required. Perhaps also when it joined the union.

Hope this helps! :) fr33kman ^talk 19:19, 26 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Linked bluffs and hardwood to the Simple English Wiktionary, changed written down back to recorded, but didn't link it because it was already linked to the SE:WT later on in that section. Removed most of the founds in the article and copyedited the Geography and Climate sections. Cheers, Razor flame 19:28, 26 March 2009 (UTC)[reply]