Wikipedia:Peer review/Archive 4

Started January and February 2008

Aaron Kwok and CoCo Lee

Both are very important stars in the C-pop music industry. Might not be simple enough for Simple English. Please review.

Louisiana Purchase

I created this article and I would like to get it to very good article status eventually and would like to know everyone else's opinion on what I should do to get it there. BirdsArmy Talk 00:54, 19 February 2008 (UTC)

Moulin Rouge!

Important film in modern English/Australian Movie Culture. One of the great films of this decade, and it has won alot of awards. Currently a proposed VGA. So If somebody can just look over it make spelling/grammar/format/simplification changes as necessary to make sure it's ready for vote, that would be great. IuseRosary ^(talk) 13:24, 3 February 2008 (UTC)

Ten Commandments

I have extended the article quite a bit; I have also copied over sections of the English article, and simplified them. I think that some sections (mostly in Problems) could still be simplified further. Also, there are many references to movements within Christianity and different versions of the Bible and the Tanakh (which we do not have yet). I think it would be helpful if other editors could read over them, and fix the problems they see. --Eptalon (talk) 12:13, 26 January 2008 (UTC)

Fahrenheit (band)

This article is about one of the most successful boy-bands in Asia. I'm unsure if it meets the requirements of being a GA-class article, so please review. There may be a few areas that need to be simplified for Simple Wikipedia.

Valais

This is one of the cantons of Switzerland and I want to make sure that I've done a good job with it. I'm considering putting this one up for good article status and I want to make sure that it meets the requirements. Just looking at them, I believe that it does meet at least 5 of the requirements, so I am going to post this now. Razorflame 02:59, 14 January 2008 (UTC)

Lucca

This is an important city in Italy. The article needs some looking over, and "translating" into Simple English though. Did some simplifications, added cat and a cleanup tag. --Eptalon (talk) 19:41, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Started in March and April 2008

The Blue Man Group

I would like to see how my article skills are so I picked my favorite one to post here. Thanks! SwirlBoy39 (talk) 23:46, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

General Certificate of Secondary Education

I just created this article, and as it's my first on Simple wiki I'm hoping someone more experienced here would look it over to see if anything needs changing to make it suitable, or to say if it's okay as is. --JulesN Talk 17:47, 26 April 2008 (UTC)

Billy Graham

It probably could use some clean up, but that's why I put it on here. I will be working on it (with help, I hope) to bring this to a "Good" article status. Please check it out and make some edits, AmericanEagle 06:09, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

Otter

Hello! I made an article at Otter, but I'm not sure if I made it right. Could someone look at it, and help improve it if it needs to be? I was kind of surprised when I found that there was no article on them.

I changed a couple of sentences and put in a nice picture. I don't know if it's complete but it looks fairly good to me. Maybe if there are certain places many otters live it should be included. Put four of these "~" after you write something so as your name or IP is signed after. ~ R.T.G 18:36, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Video game

This article is not far off good article. It just needs a few simplifys, a few POV removed (maybe?) and a couple of good external links. ~ R.T.G 23:57, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

• It needs references. I'll add to it sometime. You should information on the development of gaming. I'll help you out sometime if it's needed. Lachten (talk) 16:34, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Valais and all related articles

Please tell me if I translated them enough into Simple English, and please also tell me if I did a good job on them as they are some of my first articles. -Razorflame 01:56, 29 November 2007 (UTC)

I would think of changing the word "canton" to maybe "region called a canton" and simplifying the sentence "Fifty of the mountains are more than 4,000m high, with the highest, Monte Rosa, that reaches to 4,638m (15,217ft), and there are many glaciers." to "and the highest is xxx high. There are many glaciers in the region." And would say it is a Wikipedia:Very good articles. It does have a lot of red links though. ~ R.T.G 18:45, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Is there no page called Very good articles? ~ R.T.G 18:46, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Mali

Since the Mali article consisted only of "Mali is a country in Africa.", I thought I'd have a go at expanding it. However, lots of the links therein don't yet have articles. If anyone wants to make some of them, it would be much appreciated, as would feedback on the Mali article itself. Thank you. Jpbarrass 07:52, 1 November 2007 (UTC)

The sentence "Mandé went to Sahel" makes sense only if you can tell when (more or less) that happened. I changed it. No time for more at the moment. --Cethegus (talk) 18:12, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

Started in May 2008

John Piper (theologian)

I've been creating the Red Links for this one for awhile. As well as other work, but now I'm listing it. -- AmericanEagle 06:33, 17 May 2008 (UTC)

Bill Gothard

I just finished working on this article, and I'm sure it needs work, but that's what you're for! -- AmericanEagle 05:11, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

George Müller

I've been working to make this article longer, I finished that. Will somebody look it over and fix it up a bit. Also see if you can find some more references (sort of lacking) -- AmericanEagle 03:41, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

Charles Spurgeon

Took some time to simplify this one, but maybe some cleanup, it could be a featured article. -- AmericanEagle 07:21, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

It could be featured, if some of his sermons had their own article. It can be a good article, however. A very good job of simplification. The English version is extremely long. Chenzw  Talk  07:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Started in June 2008

QWERTY

I did a major rewrite of the article. It needs some more references and information, I know. But it'd be great if someone could help me out by telling me websites on the subject, adding information, and just giving me constructive critisisim. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lachten (talk • contribs)

WrestleMania 22

I would like some opinions on the simplification I did.--  † ChristianMan16  19:20, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Seems okay. Was better than the older versions I checked. But the article needs a major cleanup and there are way too many red links. Try creating stubs for all of those if you want to get it up to WP:GA. Thanks, RyanCross (talk) 22:30, 28 June 2008 (UTC)

Scotland

I have done a major overhaul of the article. Could someone have a look and give some constructive criticism? Thanks ← κεηηε∂γ ^(talk) 09:35, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Edit- Heres the diff ← κεηηε∂γ ^(talk) 09:41, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Here is my "constructive criticism:" The article has good length, it has improved very much by you, but my one problem is that it has so many red links. GA's should have few, to none of them. But very good job on the article, I will add it to our Wikiproject GA's. Also, next time, put this proposal at the very top. Cheers --  ✰AmericanEagle  16:58, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Whoops! Sorry, never noticed it had to go at the top. Will try to create the articles missing. Thanks for the tips! ← κεηηε∂γ ^(talk) 19:41, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Also, more references are needed. --  ✰AmericanEagle  20:04, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Yeh, I'll be looking through the article tommorow and adding references. The old article did'nt have any either... ← κεηηε∂γ ^(talk) 21:51, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Started in July 2008

Ben Hall

This article about an Australian bushranger has been mainly developed by User:Peterdownunder based on the article at English wikipedia. He has developed it for this wikipedia though and to me it seems to meet the requirements for a good article apart from the number of red links (requirement 6). Comments from other editors would be appreciated. I have been a contributor to the English wikipedia article and in fact the interwiki link on that article to here brought me to Simple English wikipedia. --Matilda (talk) 06:13, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Scottish Premier League

I have done alot of work on the SPL article. I am hoping for it to be a good article (or even better!) in the future. So I would like some input from other editors. The article is not yet finished, I still need to create new articles for some of the managers. Thanks ← κεηηε∂γ ^{(talk) (wikiproject collaboration)} 15:05, 14 July 2008 (UTC)

NASA

Me again! I seem to have been going through a spurt of creating articles in the past month, mostly about space or space related topics. I would like this article to get reviewed and give me some advice on how to improve it. I would like to have at least one article of my creation to become a good or very good article. --The Flying Spaghetti Monster (talk) 10:16, 9 July 2008 (UTC)

Islam-related topics

I think our Islam-related articles are in a bad state; they need to be reviewed and extended. I know that this request can be hard to do, as we have few active editors with an islamic background, and Islam-related fears tend to be high in some areas.. In particular I am thinking about Islam, Mosque and Muhammad. Muhammad is the best of them; it is a good article (though demotion was proposed here). Mosque needs a thorough copyediting and expansion, in my opinion. Like with Christian Churches, there are probably different architectural styles how to build a mosque; there are also certain parts of a mosque that don't change (carpets on the floor, niche towards Mecca,...). In short, if anyone has the reading skills or the background, please go ahead. --Eptalon (talk) 12:55, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

Apollo 11

I started this from nothing at all but I was surprised there was no article already. I know it's not perfect but I think it has the potential to be a good article or even a very good one with some help from more experienced users. --The Flying Spaghetti Monster (talk) 11:26, 6 July 2008 (UTC)

• Comments.

1) The phrase "while Collins flew above them' in the lead is misleading. It is better to say that he stayed in orbit. In addition, I recommend merging two paragraph in the lead.

2) "Millions of people around the world viewed the launch of Apollo 11 on television. The launch was a global event. Richard Nixon, who was then president, watched the launch from the whitehouse. A Saturn V rocket launched the mission from the Kennedy Space Center in 1969." The last sentence should be moved to the beginning. Also, please, add exact date and time of the launch.

3) "3 days later", "A day later"—Write something like 'The next day' instead of latter.

4) Please, provide a ref for "pray" and that somebody filed a lawsuit.

5) "The plaque also held a CD containing messages". Are you sure that compact disks existed in 1969 ?

6) In the reflist the first two refs are duplicates. In addition every ref should contain title, author and publisher info, and the date of publication (or access).

Ruslik (talk) 12:24, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Started in August 2008

Rhythm Tengoku

Well, I don't think it's quite complete, but I'd like to get some help on the writing and such. - A Link to the Past (talk) 07:39, 13 August 2008 (UTC)

Sniper

under development. It should only take a day or two more to add all the major information into the article, and another day or two to get all of the redlinks to at least stubs. I think this could very quickly be made into a very good article. Swatjester (talk) 08:21, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

The subject is not a topic I am familiar with but the topic seems well covered. From readablity tool it would seem that the article could be worked on a little more to improve readbaility. For example the sentences could be made a bit shorter. --Matilda (talk) 04:34, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

Started in September 2008

Interstate 82

I recently started this article, and would like this to be a GA soon. The is a good article already. This article could even be a very good article soon too after improvement, so please give me some suggestions. ComputerGuy890100 (talk) 21:20, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

Waaay too many red links. And definitely too short to even make WP:GA. Try expanding the article, and create the missing links. Kennedy ^(talk) 21:21, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

I will expand the article and make stubs for the links at another time. I am currently in the middle of getting the English version of this article to A-Class. ComputerGuy890100 (talk) 22:36, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

Please don't create stubs for the sake of getting rid of the redlinks. I think the redlinks to other routes are not appropriate to develop and they shoud be delinked. The purpose of Simple English wikipedia is different to that of English wikipedia.
See Wikipedia:What Wikipedia is not: think Simple English Wikipedia is not another English Wikipedia. The regular English Wikipedia is a large collection of knowledge about many subjects. The pages there are for people who read English very well. Simple English is not the correct place to put the same articles again. Instead, we write about the most common subjects so that people from every language can read and translate the pages easily
If you want to create a comprehensive resource on road links I think this series of articles would be better developed in English wikipedia - we don't need to duplicate the information here. If you can write an interesting article on this road that Simple English wikipedia readers might be interested in that would seem like a good idea. I can't think you are going to write articles on all the roads that are redlinked - at least not in the near future. I suggest delinking for the time being and when the article is written then put in the wikilinks. Don't create stubs for the sake of it - they don't help the reader. --Matilda (talk) 04:29, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

I only created stubs for cities, counties, and Interstates. All other links, except WSDOT, have been removed. ComputerGuy890100 (talk) 23:51, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

• Looks very good as a short article. I have broken up the lead paragraph to make it easier to read. Although the readability tool complains about long words and says it is harder to read - the long words are place names. I think it is readable. It now needs expansion - what plans do you have? --Matilda (talk) 00:39, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
• It was a little bit disappointing that a fact in the article was wrong concerning the claim about the longest bridge - we should not mislead people and should use sources accurately. The source was quite clear that it was only the longest bridge in North America and there was a longer one, built earlier in Sweden. --Matilda (talk) 00:57, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

• I plan to add a "Road Details" section, or is that too complicated? Also a "History" section. ~~ ĈĠ ☺ ^en 02:20, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

Golda Meir

Hi all, I started this article after someone created a new one that was not appropriate. It's the first one I've done over here and would like to try and get it to GA, could anyone who wants to just take a look and let me know what you like, what needs improvement and what should be dumped? Thanks! fr33kman ^{t - c} 22:22, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

Hi. Try expanding some of the accompanying articles and filling in the redlinks. Microchip • talk 19:36, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

Okay, I shall. Thanks! fr33kman ^{t - c} 01:38, 27 September 2008 (UTC)

Started in December 2008

Hot chocolate

I've gotten this article to WP:GA status and would like some suggestions on how to improve it to WP:PGA status. Thank you, Malinaccier (talk) (Rev) 00:01, 7 December 2008 (UTC)

I see no major concerns with the article, and it appears to be well on its way to VGA. It needs a bit of copyediting, which I'll try to help with in the coming days. Otherwise, the article looks great. –Juliancolton (talk) 05:42, 25 February 2009 (UTC)