User talk:PeterSymonds/Princess Alice of the United Kingdom
Review by section[change source]
Early life[change source]
Passives[change source]
- was born
- was named
- was chosen
- was chosen
- was born
- was christened
- was greeted
I understand not all of these can be replaced by active (like was born).
Links[change source]
Link the following words to wiki or wikt:
- admirer
- christened
- feelings
- expressing
Typos and spelling[change source]
- even becomes Even
- feeling becomes feelings
Simplify[change source]
- Another way of saying stood proxy? If not, the link should be blue.
- selected could become chosen
Other[change source]
- She was the second [...] and Gotha is a repeat of the intro. Could be changed.
- said that the name Alice was his favourite female name. Remove the name so it isn't repeated.
- The godparents selected (chosen) by the queen were -> The godparents (that) the queen chose were. Maybe simpler?
- The last part (The godparents... until the end) is formated in a way I'm not too keen on. Could we have the names like this: Ernest xxxxx (for whom xxx), x2x2x2 ( for whom x2x2x2x2x2), etc. Remove the semicolons and use commas instead?
Childhood[change source]
Passives[change source]
- was not equipped
- was controlled
- were taught
- was fascinated
Links[change source]
- birth
- private apartments
- suitable
- holiday home
- education
- practical
- skills
- housekeeping
- cooking
- gardening
- carpentry
- clothing
- sparsely
- furnished (furniture)
- bedrooms
- heating
- fascinated
- tenants
- escaped
- chapel
- public pew
- supporters
- wounded
- emotionally
- sensitive
- sympathetic
- relationship
- companionship
Typos and spelling[change source]
- supporter > suporters
Simplify[change source]
- sparsely if it isn't linked
- strict supporters - doesn't mean strict as in severe, could be simpler.
- Sharp tongue
- easily triggered temper
Others[change source]
- fascinated with should become fascinated by - better
- at the chapel at Windsor castle. To avoid repeating at, maybe use At Windsor Castle's chapel. (unless it has more than one, then use at one of Windsor castle's chapels.
- Although Alice shared a close companionship with her sister, and was upset when she married Prince Frederick of Prussia in 1858. She was closest to the Prince of Wales, with whom she held a tight and intimate bond. This doesn't work in 2 sentences. Should only be one. However I don't think it works with what comes before. I suggest: In her childhood, Alice formed a close relationship with her brother, the Prince of Wales. She also shared a close companionship with Victoria, the Princess Royal her eldest sister, but was upset when she married Prince Frederick of Prussia in 1858. She was closest to the Prince, with whom she held a tight and intimate bond. In this case, link words such as bond, intimate, etc.