Talk:Jenadriyah
 | This article is part of the Feminism and Folklore 2024 edit-a-thon! |
 | This article contains a translation of Jenadriyah from en.wikipedia. |
| This article contains a translation of مهرجان الجنادرية from ar.wikipedia. |
Hello F&F 2024 contributor! I began by running the text of this page through my readability gizmo, and it yielded no results younger than eleventh grade. That usually means it is too complex for SEWP.
My brain... Is giving me mixed results. I see efforts to pipe complex words, but I don't think "clothing attachments" is an accurate explanation of "jewelry." Harder to explain... It feels almost repetitive. Darkfrog24 (talk) 01:02, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24 i changed the definition of jewelry but can you try explaining more as i personally believe it's simple enough🫠 -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 05:01, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
- I guess I can do that but the bottom line is that writing in simple English--and figuring out what we at SEWP mean by simple English--is not easy and takes practice. Start by looking at WP:ABOUT. Our audience is English language learners and kids. We have more resources at WP:HOW.
- With this specific article, it is hard for me to figure out what strikes me as complex. This is subjective, and I'm going to own that. One thing I can put my figure on is that there could be less passive voice (which I think is underrated, but active usually works better here on SEWP). Instead of "they are invited" try saying "[entity] invites them" or "they come." Could "region" be made to "places in"? "Introduced" could be something else.
- I repeat in this article specifically, unlike your other entries, it is difficult for me to figure out what strikes me as complex. It's subjective, and I wouldn't be surprised if another evaluator disagrees with me about it being too complex.
- I realize you didn't ask, but I notice that this article has a lot of relevant content that the en.wiki article does not. I'm guessing it's either your original creation or translated from ar.wiki. If you're participating in the contest at en.wiki too, would it be viable for you to brush it up to 400 words and add it to the en.wiki article as an entry there? Darkfrog24 (talk) 14:32, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
- no, I'm not participating in En Wikipedia and it's both the translation from Arabic Wikipedia as well as original research through the sources mentioned there and I will check if what you told can be implemented by me -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 15:30, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
- Well the en.wiki article would be improved by it, contest or no contest. Darkfrog24 (talk) 00:01, 26 February 2024 (UTC)
- umm yes, good idea -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 01:29, 26 February 2024 (UTC)
- Well the en.wiki article would be improved by it, contest or no contest. Darkfrog24 (talk) 00:01, 26 February 2024 (UTC)
- no, I'm not participating in En Wikipedia and it's both the translation from Arabic Wikipedia as well as original research through the sources mentioned there and I will check if what you told can be implemented by me -- 💌Ayesha46 (talk) 15:30, 25 February 2024 (UTC)