BDSM

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A woman is tied to the bed, in erotic play

BDSM is an initialism for bondage/discipline (BD), dominance/submission (DS), and sadism/masochism (SM). It means some kinds of sex play, sometimes these are called kink or fetish. They all have to do with trying to get sexual happiness out of things that are often painful or upsetting. People try to do this in a safe way by agreeing on a "safe word". If someone says this word the whole play stops. This is to stop the play from going too far and causing real physical or emotional hurt.

BDSM and safety[change | change source]

BDSM is thought about as a safe thing to do if it does some things. These things are often said in one of two different ways. The first way they are said is to say Safe, Sane, and Consentual (SSC). The second way they are said is Risk Aware Consentual Kink (RACK). What those sayings mean is that both people have to agree on what to do. They also have to be safe, which means that they have to know the risks and be careful. People who do BDSM play are very careful to follow those rules because they can hurt or kill their partner if they do not.

Safe words are used to make sure BDSM is safe. Sometimes one person thinks they are playing in an ok way, but the other person does not. The person who does not think the play is ok will use a safe word or gesture to stop playing. This means that the play stops as soon as they do so nobody gets hurt or injured.

Bondage and discipline[change | change source]

A person's wrists are bound to each other for bondage play

Bondage is the use of items like handcuffs, ropes or chains to keep a willing person from moving. Bondage often has to do with sex, but not always. Bondage is done because some people like the feeling of being not able to move while having sex. In this case, bondage sometimes has to do with BDSM, as often in the case of rope bondage and bondage of the female breasts. The letter "B" in BDSM stands for "bondage". Bondage may also be done just because people may like the feelings it creates.

Some couples include bondage as foreplay in their otherwise traditional sex lives at some time during their relationship. These bedroom bondage games are often with one partner willingly being restrained with rope or cuffs. Sometimes they can also be blindfolded or gagged.

Dominance and submission[change | change source]

Domination and submission is a lifestyle. Often it is seen as a form of erotic play. Usually two people do this. With this lifestyle or context, one of the two people has the dominant role. He or she can tell the other (called submissive) to do things. The submissive has to obey. The roles are usually agreed on beforehand. The submission is voluntary. Sadomasochism may be seen as a variation of domination and submission. A person who plays both roles is called a switch.

Related pages[change | change source]