User talk:Jocelyn0811

Gate of China

Thank you!

Thank you for writing about something that you saw in Nanjing! I could completely understand everything that you wrote, so you're doing very well at using English to talk to people. =)

Changes I made

To help as an English teacher and to make your writing better, I fixed the mistakes that you made. If you want see each change that I needed to make, you can see them here. The big ideas are:

• There were some grammar mistakes, like forgetting about countable nouns (可数，不可数不同), using nouns as verbs (名动不同), using verbs as nouns (动名不同), joining sentences with commas (句号，逗号不同), and forgetting to talk about things in the past with the past tense (现在，过去不同). That's all OK and normal, but try to see them and think about them so you can be better next time.
• You wrote about "the Zhonghua Gate" but the English name is "the Gate of China".
• You wrote about your trip and your feelings. That's great on Weixin or Sina Weibo, but here we're just writing about the Gate of China. Only write about the Gate of China. Your readers might be Chinese or people in other countries, so you can't talk about "our ancestors" or "enemies".
• You wrote about Nanjing's history and different places in Nanjing. That's great if you're writing about Nanjing, but here we're just writing about the Gate of China. Only write about the Gate of China. There's no reason to talk about the Six Dynasties if the gate was built in the Ming Dynasty, which happened much later. You could talk some about the Ming and Qing dynasties and what happened to the gate during those years. There's no reason to talk about places in Nanjing that don't have anything to do with the gate, but you should talk about the Nanjing City Wall because the gate is part of it.

Changes you should make

Things you should do:

• Move what we fixed to Gate of China. (We don't add "a" or "the" at the beginning of encyclopedia pages.)
• Start the page with a sentence that answers the basic questions "What is it?" "Where is it in the world?" Make the name Gate of China dark and strong by using three ⟨'⟩s on both sides '''like this'''.
• You should answer the questions "How big is it?" and "Where is it in Nanjing?" Don't say "It's very big"; tell me how many meters tall and wide it is.
• You should answer the question "What is its Chinese name?" with the pinyin spelling and characters. That's a little hard. Just copy this: Its Chinese name is the ''Zhōnghuámén'' (中华门).
• You should answer the questions "When is it open to visitors? How much does it cost to visit?"
• You already answered the question "When was it first built?" but you should say what year(s) during the Ming Dynasty it was built. If what we see today isn't what they built then, you should say what year what we see now was built.
• You should answer the question "What big fight actually happened at the Gate of China?" if there was one.
• You say it has a barbican and you show how to use the barbican (GREAT JOB!) but "What is a barbican?" Use simple words like "it is a building that..."
• You say it has a barbican and secret rooms but "Does it have any other parts? or are those the only parts?"
• You should answer the question "How can I get there easily on Nanjing's public transportation?"

You probably don't know the answers to all of those. You can look here or here but DON'T JUST COPY THEM. Try to answer the questions in your own words. — Mr Spear (talk) 05:07, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

NANJING: GATE OF CHINA

 In our Nanjing journey, my favorite scenic spot is the "Gate of China". In Chinese, we call it "Zhōnghuámén"(中华门).
 "Gate of China" was built in Ming Dynasty and now settles in Qinghuai District， Nanjing, China. It is 16512 square meter. "Gate of China"is very magnificent for its barbican. It's the firmest barbican in China. The barbican is a small space between the main gate door and the barbican door. When the enemies go into it, the doors can block them so that the soldiers that have already hidden in the barbican can kill them easily. In the past, Taiping Kingdom of Heaven tried to attack into Nanjing, however, the gate wasn't ruined at all. Nowadays, tourists are allowed to visit the "Gate of China" and they can take Nanjing line 1 to "Gate of China" station to go there and the tickets for visiting cost 50yuan per person.

Nope

This is still in the wrong place. Write about this at Gate of China. You're still not putting spaces between words. Don't talk to the reader or about "our journey". Just explain what the gate is and remember that it's countable: The Gate of China. It's not "now settle[d]"; the gate didn't move around and build a new home. Meters are countable. "[A] barbican is a space between [a] main door and [a] barbican door" doesn't make any sense: you can't define a word using the same word. Your times are still wrong. The Gate of China isn't a poem or song. It doesn't have quote marks around it. Every important word of a name starts with a big letter: if it's the Gate of China Station, then Station starts with a big S. "Tickets to visit" or "tickets for visitors" but both are silly: just say "tickets". — Mr Spear (talk) 16:33, 27 November 2018 (UTC)