User talk:Haoreima/Folklore
Opportunities for simplification[change source]
I am responding to the drafter's request for comments.
As usual, I am pointing out the kind of thing that could/should be simplified. This is not a list of every single thing.
- darling
- we don't capitalize words like "eldest"
- this would be clearer to read with more paragraph breaks between ideas
- inauguration
- What are "two good ladies"? Are they female servants? Oh, they're wives. Maybe "his two noble wives" or "his two wives."
- alms
Okay, I'm going to stop now. I will try to look up the exact policy that describes the problem. I think it's "there's too much plot description in this article."
Maybe less of a play-by-play of what happens in the poem and more about why the poem is important, its history, the art style in which it was written... Darkfrog24 (talk) 02:29, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- Found it. This would be covered by the templates {{Long plot}} or {{All plot}} and the guideline en:WP:NOTPLOT, which is part of WP:NOT. THe English Wikipedia offers advice for fixing this here: [1] Darkfrog24 (talk) 02:34, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: I did as you suggested me, except "inauguration"! Could you please explain me about inauguration? I did the sectioning of the plot. Do we still need the plot to be shortened? Another thing, for the content of an article besides plot, I will add other contents too. Haoreima (talk) 05:58, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- The article refers to the "inauguration ceremony" of a new castle. What was actually happening? Was the building being opened for the first time? Was it being dedicated the way a ship is christened? Also, was it a castle (building made for defense) or a palace (building made to be impressive and pleasant to live in)? Darkfrog24 (talk) 13:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: The building being opened for the first time. And yes, it is a Royal castle made to be impressive and pleasant to live in. Now, how shall we prepare the wording? Haoreima (talk) 13:44, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- Then, strictly speaking, it's not a castle. It's a palace. In modern English, sometimes people get the two words switched up, but a castle is basically a fancy fort. It's meant to hold off seiges. It's not meant to be comfortable, though the people in it would have decorated it and added furniture. A palace is meant to be beautiful and impressive. Technically, the American White House is a palace.
- As for preparing the wording, can't you just say "he invited them to his new palace"? But the bigger problem is that none of this makes sense. The story jumps from character to character before anything happens or resolves. Now I know that's not your fault; you're just writing it down the way the original does it, but it would be a lot better to say why it's important than to say what happened. I'd say leave the plot section alone for a while because you or a subsequent editor will probably end up cutting most of it out eventually anyway. Darkfrog24 (talk) 15:17, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- Does the poem jump around so much because it was written by 30 different people over the course of 200 years? Is it like the Irish Tain Bo Cuilagne where it was an oral story with old men coming together once a generation to agree on which parts of the story sounded best to them? Is it the work of one artist? Is it the work of one artist who might not have been real? Is it like with the poet Homer where he might have written down an oral history or where many people might have added to the work later? There are lots of ways to answer the question "What the $#@% is going on?" Darkfrog24 (talk) 15:21, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: The story was retold from generation to generation for a millennium. Some stories are preserved in ancient and medieval texts, while some in the form of ballad operas. Within the last 2-3 centuries, numerous prose and poetries are crafted based on the story of Khamba Thoibi out of which the one written in 1940 by "Hijam Anganghal" was considered the most significant. Because his poem consists of 34,000 lines. His poem was considered as the national epic of Manipur, a country until it gets merged into India in 1949. Haoreima (talk) 08:03, 17 February 2022 (UTC)
- Good stuff! That's the sort of thing that should go in the article! Darkfrog24 (talk) 13:40, 17 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: The story was retold from generation to generation for a millennium. Some stories are preserved in ancient and medieval texts, while some in the form of ballad operas. Within the last 2-3 centuries, numerous prose and poetries are crafted based on the story of Khamba Thoibi out of which the one written in 1940 by "Hijam Anganghal" was considered the most significant. Because his poem consists of 34,000 lines. His poem was considered as the national epic of Manipur, a country until it gets merged into India in 1949. Haoreima (talk) 08:03, 17 February 2022 (UTC)
- Does the poem jump around so much because it was written by 30 different people over the course of 200 years? Is it like the Irish Tain Bo Cuilagne where it was an oral story with old men coming together once a generation to agree on which parts of the story sounded best to them? Is it the work of one artist? Is it the work of one artist who might not have been real? Is it like with the poet Homer where he might have written down an oral history or where many people might have added to the work later? There are lots of ways to answer the question "What the $#@% is going on?" Darkfrog24 (talk) 15:21, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: The building being opened for the first time. And yes, it is a Royal castle made to be impressive and pleasant to live in. Now, how shall we prepare the wording? Haoreima (talk) 13:44, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- The article refers to the "inauguration ceremony" of a new castle. What was actually happening? Was the building being opened for the first time? Was it being dedicated the way a ship is christened? Also, was it a castle (building made for defense) or a palace (building made to be impressive and pleasant to live in)? Darkfrog24 (talk) 13:42, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Darkfrog24: I did as you suggested me, except "inauguration"! Could you please explain me about inauguration? I did the sectioning of the plot. Do we still need the plot to be shortened? Another thing, for the content of an article besides plot, I will add other contents too. Haoreima (talk) 05:58, 16 February 2022 (UTC)