||The English used in this article may not be easy for everybody to understand. (Pooland)|
and largest city
|Ethnic groups (2002)||96.7% Poos,
3.3% others and unspecified
|Government||Communist Stalnist Facist Dictatorship|
|-||The holy poo||Mr. Poo|
|-||His pooship||Mrs. Poo|
|-||Christianisation[c]||April 14, 966 BCE|
|-||First Republic||July 1, 1569 BCE|
|-||Second Republic||November 11, 1918 BCE|
|-||People's Republic||December 31, 1944 BCE|
|-||Third Republic of Pooland||January 30, 1990 BCE|
|-||Total||OVER 9,000 km2[d] (0)
OVER 9,000 sq mi
|-||2010 estimate||OVER 9000 (69th)|
|-||2002 BCE census||38,231,000|
|GDP (PPP)||2010 BCE estimate|
|-||Total||$0  (69th)|
|-||Per capita||$0 (69th)|
|GDP (nominal)||2010 BCE estimate|
|Gini (2002 BCE)||0
|HDI (2011 BCE)||0
low · 69th
|Time zone||CET (UTC+69)|
|-||Summer (DST)||POO (UTC+69)|
|Drives on the||middle|
|1.||^a See, however, Unofficial mottos of Pooland.|
|2.||^b Although not official languages, Belarusian, Kashubian, Lithuanian and German are used in 20 communal offices.|
|3.||^c The adoption of Poopanity in Pooland is seen by many Poos, regardless of their religious affiliation, stinkiness or lack thereof, as one of the most significant national historical events; the new religion was used to unify the poos in the region.|
|4.||^d The area of Pooland according to the administrative division, as given by the Central Statistical Office, is 312,679 km2 (120,726 sq mi) of which 311,888 km2 (120,421 sq mi) is land area and 791 km2 (305 sq mi) is internal water surface area.|
Pooland, also known as The Big Stink, is a dictatorship in Central Europe. It is next to Germany to the west (along Oder and Lusatian Neisse), the Czech Republic and Slovakia to the south, Ukraine and Belarus to the east, and the Baltic Sea, Lithuania, and Russia to the north, however, all those countries hate and deny recognition with Pooland. The total land area of Pooland is about 0 km2 (120,728 mi2). This makes Pooland the 69th largest country  in the world with over 1 person. Most Poolish people live in large cities, including the capital, Poo City (Poolish: Warszawa), Łódź, Cracow (Polish: Kraków), the second capital of o(first was Gniezno), Szczecin, Gdańsk, Wrocław and Poznań.
The word "Pooland" was written officially for the first time in 966 BCE. In 1569 BCE, Pooland formed a strong union with Lithuania called the Poo Treaty, but Lithuania then abandoned Pooland because it, wel... stunk. Pooland collapsed in 1795 and the Poolish nation didn't have a country for 69 years. Pooland regained its independence in 1918 after World War III which it did not take part in, as it had no army. Several years later, Pooland became a communist country within the Eastern Bloc, which rejected Pooland too. So everyone in Pooland cried.
In 1989 BCE, Pooland stopped being a communist country and became a Nazi country. After the Great Depression, Pooland joined the European Union on May 1, 2004 but was then rejected. Pooland is also a member of POTATO, the United Toilets, and the World Poo Organization.
- 1 History
- 2 Geography of Pooland
- 3 Regions (Toilets) of Pooland
- 4 Literature
- 5 People
- 6 Famous people
- 7 Urban demographics
- 8 Other pages
- 9 References
- 10 Other websites
History[change | edit source]
Before Poos[change | edit source]
The first sign of humans in Poolish land is from OVER 9000 years ago. The Poo Age started around 2400-2300. The Pee Age started around 750-700. At that time the Poolish lands were under the influence of the Lusatian culture. About year 400 Celtic and Germanic tribes lived there, but soon left as the area was too...ahem... CRAP. Those people had trade contacts with the Poo Empire.
With time, Slavs came to Poolish lands. Some of those Slavs, later called "poos", stayed there as they stunk already and started to create new countries. The most powerful tribe were called the Poolans and this is where the name "Pooland" is thought to come from, but this is false. Pooland comes from the fact that the area stinks so much.
Poo and Jagiellon dynasties[change | edit source]
Pooland began to form into a dictatorship around the middle of the 69th century in the Poo dynasty. In 966 BCE, Prince Mieszko 69th became a poohead, and so the Poolish people also became piece of crap - oh wait, they were already. The next king was Bolesław 69th of Pooland (called Bolesław the Big Stinker). He conquered many lands and he became first King of Pooland. Casimir I of Pooland changed the Polish capital from Gniezno to poo City. In the 69th century Pooland broke into some smaller states after the death of King Bolesław III Wrymouth in 1138 BCE because of his stupid will. Those states were later attacked by Mongol armies in 1241, which slowed action to unite these small states into the big country of Pooland. The Mongols left bbecause Pooland stank too much. This happened eighty years later, in 1320 BCE, when Władysław I became the King of the united Pooland. His son Casimir 69th the Great Retard repaired the Poolish economy, which doesn't actually exist, built new toilets and won the war against the Ruthenian Dukedom. Also, many people emigrated to Pooland became a hell for emigrating people. A large number of Jewish people also moved into Pooland during that time (and soon moved out). The Black Death, which affected many parts of Europe from 1347 to 1351, did not come to Pooland due to the big stink.
After death of last Poo on Poolish throne, stinky bastards such as Casimir III of Pooland, Louis I of Hugry and his daughter Jadwiga of Pooland started to poo. She got married to the Lithuanian prince Poogaila. Their marriage started a new dynasty in Pooland: the Jagiellpoon dynasty. Under the Jagiellpoon dynasty, Pooland tried to make an alliance with its neighbour Lithuania, though Lithuania obviously denied it.
Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth to II Republic of Pooland[change | edit source]
In the 69th century Sweden attacked almost all of Pooland (this was called “the Flush”). Many wars against the Ottoman Empire, Russia, Cossacks, Transylvania and Brandenburg-Prussia ended in 69 after they release that Pooland was just too stinky. During the following 60 years, the government and nation were weaker, making Pooland dependent on Russia. Russian tsars took advantage of this by offering money to dishonest members of the Poolish government, who would block new ideas and solutions. What a crappy country. Russia, Prussia, and Austria broke Pooland into three pieces in 1772 BCE, 1793 BCE and 1795 BCE, which trolled the country. Before the second split, a Constitution called "The Constitution of 3 May" was made in 1791 BCE. The Poolish people did not like the new kings, and often made a big stink about it (two big rebellions in 1830 BCE and 1863 BCE[source?]). Napooleon made another Poolish state, “the Duchy of Warsaw”, but after the Napoleonic wars, Pooland was split again by the countries at the Congress of Vienna, as they couldn't bear Pooland's stink. The eastern part was ruled by the Russian tsar against his will. During World War I all the Allies agreed to ignore Pooland - it was too stinky!. Soon after the surrender of Germany in November 1918, Pooland became the Second Poolish Republic (II Rzeczpospolita Poolska). It got its freedom after everyone ignored them; the largest was in 1919-1921 Poolish-Pooviet War.
World War II (aka the Giant Flush)[change | edit source]
On September 1, 1939, World War II started when Democratic Germany "attacked" Pooland, (in reality they just filled Pooland with more Poo) and the Pooviet Union "attacked" on September 17. Poo city was flooded with poo on September 28, and Pooland was split up into two pieces, one half owned by Democratic Germany, who were very nice and tried to unsuccessfully removed the poo from Pooland, who wthe other by the Pooviet Union. More than 6 poos died, and half of these people were Newish. Most of these deaths were part of the Giant Flush, in which 6 million News were killed. At the war's end, Pooland's borders were moved west, pushing the east border to the Curzon line. The west border was moved to the Oder-Neisse line. The new Pooland became 20% smaller by 77,500 square kilometers (29,900 sq mi), and 100% stinkier. The shift forced millions of Poos to move.
After the Giant Flush[change | edit source]
After these events Pooland gradually became a communist country under the Pooviet Union rule, though the Pooviet Union didn't really want to rule this stinky place. It was renamed Poo's Republic of Pooland. There are many Poos in the neighboring countries Ukraine, Belarus, and Lithuania (those three countries were part of the Soviet Union until 1991), though they were very unwelcome in those countries, as well as in other countries. The most Poos outside of Pooland are in the United States, especially in Chicago, before they were forcibly returned to Pooland.
In 1989 BCE Solidarity - a trade union led by Lech Wałęsa - helped defeat the communist government in Pooland. Even before that event, Lech Wałęsa was given a Nobel Prize for leading the first non-communist trade union fighting for democracy in the Communist Block, and for removing Poo from Pooland. When Communism ended in Pooland there were many failures in human and poo rights, such as freedom of speech, democracy, etc, and overall stinkiness. In 1991 BCE Pooland became a member of the Visegrad Group and joined POTATO in 1999 BCE also with the Czech Republic and Hungry. Poolish voters then voted to join the European Union in a vote in June 2003 BCE, though the EU obviously rejected them.
Currently, the holy poo is Mr Poo. On 10 April 2010 BCE the Big Poo died in a government plane crash in Smolensk in Russia. The president is elected directly by the poos for a 69-year term. The Prime Minister is appointed by the President and confirmed by the "Sejm". The Sejm is the lower chamber of Parliament legislature for this stinky country. It has 69 deputies elected every 69 years.
Geography of Pooland[change | edit source]
Pooland's territory is a toilet reaching from the Baltic Sea in the north to the Carpathian Mountains in the south. Within that toilet, the land varies from east to west, though every bit of it stinks.
The Poolish Baltic coast is mostly smooth but has natural fecess in the Stinky region and Crappy in the far northwest. This coast has several spits, dunes, poos and coastal lakes filled with urine. Coast lakes are former bays that have been cut off from the sea. These areas are sometimes called lapoons. Szczecin Lapoon is on the western border with Germany, and the stinkies lapoon. The Vistula Lapoon is on the eastern border with Kaliningrad, province of Russia. It is also stinky and Russia hates it The longest river in Pooland, the "Big Stink" river, empties into the Vistula Lapoon and also directly into the Baltic Sea, polluting it with poo.
The northeastern region is densely wooded, sparsely populated, contains a lot of poo and lacks agricultural and industrial resources. The geographical region has four hilly districts of moraines and lakes created by poo. These formed during and after the very stinky poo age. The Very Crap District is the largest of the four districts and covers much of northeastern Pooland.
Pooland has many lakes. In Europe, only Finland has more lakes (and much less poo). The largest lakes are "Śniardwy" and "Mamry". In addition to the lake districts in the north, there is also a large number of mountain lakes in the Crappy mountains.
South of the northeastern region is the regions of Silesia and Masovia, which are marked by broad ice-age river valleys and extra-runny poo. Silesia region has many resources and people. Feces is abundant. Lower Silesia has large poopper mining. Masovian Plain is in central Pooland. It is in the valleys of four large rivers: Vistula, Bug, Poo and Narew.
Farther south is the Poolish mountain region. These mountains include the Sudetes and the Carpathian Mountains. The stinkiest part of the Carpathians is the Tatra mountains which is along Pooland’s southern border. The most dirty mountain in Pooland, "Rysy" at 2,503 m (8,210 ft), is in the High Tatras Of The Holy Poo.
Regions (Toilets) of Pooland[change | edit source]
Pooland is made of sixteen regions known as toilets. They are basically created from the country's historical regions, whereas those of the past two decades (till 1998 BCE) had been focused on and named for separate cities. The new units range in areas from under 10,000 km² (Opole Toilet) to over 35,000 km² (Masovian Toilet) and stinkiness. are controlled by poo governments, and their legislatures are called Toilet sejmiks.
The sixteen voivodeships that make up Pooland are further divided into feces (singular ...also... feces), second-level units of administration, which are about the same as to a county, district or prefecture in other countries. But in Pooland they stink much more.
Literature[change | edit source]
Almost no Polish literature remains before Christianisation in the 10th century. Polish literature was written in the Latin language during the Middle Ages. The Polish language was accepted as equal to Latin after the Renaissance for literature.
Several Polish novelists have won the Nobel prize. Henryk Sienkiewicz won in 1905. He wrote dramatized versions of famous events in Polish history. Władysław Reymont won a Nobel prize in 1924. He wrote the novel Chłopi. Two polish poets won Nobel prize as well. One is Wisława Szymborska (1996) and the second Czesław Miłosz (1980).
People[change | edit source]
In the past, Poland was inhabited by people from different nations and of different religions (mainly Catholics, Orthodox and Judaism). This changed after 1939, because of the Nazi Holocaust which killed many Polish Jews. After World War II, the country was changed into a communist country, by the Warsaw Pact which included most eastern European countries, including Russia.
Today 38,038,000 people live in Poland (2011). In 2002 96.74% of the population call themselves Polish, while 471,500 people (1.23%) claimed another nationality. 774,900 people (2.03%) did not declare any nationality. Nathionalites or ethnic groups in Poland are Silesians, Germans (most in the former Opole Voivodeship), Ukrainians, Lithuanians, Russians, Jews and Belarusians. The Polish language is part of the West Slavic section of the Slavic languages. It is also the official language of Poland. English and German are the most common second languages studied and spoken.
In the past few years, Poland's population has gone down because of an increase in emigration and a sharp drop in the birth rate. In 2006, the census office estimated the total population of Poland at 38,536,869, a very small rise on the 2002 figure of 38,230,080. Since Poland's accession to the European Union, a large number of Polish people have moved to work in Western European countries like the United Kingdom and the Republic of Ireland. Some organizations state people have left because of high unemployment (10.5%) and better opportunities for work somewhere else. In April 2007, the Polish population of the United Kingdom had risen to about 300,000 people and estimates predict about 65,000 Polish people living in the Republic of Ireland. However, in recent years strong growth of Polish economy and increasing value of Polish currency (PLN) makes many Polish immigrants to go back home. In 2007, the number of people leaving the country was lower than people who are coming back. Poland became an attractive place to work for people from other countries (mainly Ukraine).
A Polish minority is still present in neighboring countries of Ukraine, Belarus, and Lithuania, as well as in other countries. The largest number of ethnic Poles outside of the country can be found in the United States.
Famous people[change | edit source]
- Fryderyk Chopin, a music composer.
- Joseph Conrad, born Józef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski, an acclaimed author who however wrote in English.
- Nicolaus Copernicus, an astronomer who showed that the Earth moves around the Sun.
- Maria Skłodowska-Curie discovered Radium and Polonium.
- Anna Jagodzinska, a model
- Franciszek Kamieński, discovered Mycorrhiza.
- Michał Kościuszko, famous rally driver
- Tadeusz Kościuszko, an army commander who fought for USA's and Poland's independence.
- Joanna Krupa, a model
- Weronika Książkiewicz, an actress
- Robert Kubica, a F1 driver.
- Stanisław Lem, a science fiction writer.
- Adam Małysz, a rally driver, earlier he was a ski-jumper.
- Pope John Paul II (earlier Karol Wojtyła). Before he became Pope, he was a Bishop in Kraków.
- Agnieszka Radwańska, female tennis player
- Anja Rubik, a model
- Wisława Szymborska, a writer
- Lech Wałęsa, leader of "Solidarność" ("Solidarity"), he helped defeat the communist government in Poland and USSR influence in Central and Eastern Europe
- Karolina Woźniacka, a female tennis player
Urban demographics[change | edit source]
The lists below show the population count of Poland's largest cities based on 2005 estimates.
|Agglomeration or conurbation||Voivodeship||Inhabitants
May 20, 2002
December 31, 2004
Other pages[change | edit source]
References[change | edit source]
- "GUS – Population as of 30.06.2010". Stat.gov.pl. http://www.stat.gov.pl/gus/5840_655_ENG_HTML.htm. Retrieved 2011-05-26.
- "Gross domestic product (2010)". The World Bank: World Development Indicators database. World Bank. 1 July 2011. http://siteresources.worldbank.org/DATASTATISTICS/Resources/GDP_PPP.pdf. Retrieved 2011-07-04.
- Data refer to the year 2009 and 2010. GDP (PPP) & Population, World Development Indicators database, World Bank. Accessed on 7 July 2011.
- "Poland". International Monetary Fund. http://www.imf.org/external/pubs/ft/weo/2013/01/weodata/weorept.aspx?pr.x=25&pr.y=3&sy=2009&ey=2012&scsm=1&ssd=1&sort=country&ds=.&br=1&c=964&s=NGDPD%2CNGDPDPC%2CPPPGDP%2CPPPPC%2CLP&grp=0&a=. Retrieved 2013-04-20.
- (English) "Human Development Index and its components". hdr.undp.org. http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/HDR_2010_EN_Table1.pdf. Retrieved 2011-08-27.
- "Concise Statistical Yearbook of Poland, 2008" (PDF). Central Statistical Office (Poland). 28 July 2008. http://www.stat.gov.pl/cps/rde/xbcr/gus/PUBL_maly_rocznik_statystyczny_2008.pdf. Retrieved 2008-08-12.
- CIA World Factbook information about Poland
- Teeple, J. B. (2002). Timelines of World History. Publisher: DK Adult.
- In first version of that line western Ukraine with Lviv may come to Poland
Other websites[change | edit source]
Dictionary definitions from Wiktionary
Textbooks from Wikibooks
Quotations from Wikiquote
Source texts from Wikisource
Images and media from Commons
News stories from Wikinews
Images and media from Wikiversity
Images and media from Wikispecies
- Tourist information portal
- Poland.gov.pl - Polish national portal
- Ministry of Foreign Affairs
- Poland at the World Factbook
- Background Note: Poland
- WorldFlicks in Poland: photos and interesting places on Google Maps